I am not a bottom, nor a top. I’m a top and a bottom.
I can’t fully comprehend, short of physical improbability, why anyone decides they are a “total” this or a “total” that. The male G spot—oh hi prostate—is accessed through the bottom, and if the rumours are true (they are), why wouldn’t guys want to buck up and say they like to bottom, on the off-chance they may sample the fruits of a g-spot orgasm? If your excuse is, “well, I just never liked it,” I can safely say you have not done it right or well. Your mental gymnastics are doing you a grand disservice.
There is a reason why notions of totality—bottom and top—exist, and that’s because “bottom shaming” is a thing that exists. Admitting to enjoying bottoming is apparently an admission of being a “nelly bottom” or “pussy boy” among some groups, which is antithetical to this man’s man revival gay men are so desperate to enact. And I think that is quite a shame. Enjoying a cock in your ass doesn’t make you “the woman.” It means you are into being fucked, and find value in taking control of your body. And having an appreciation for every inch of your body and the things it can do feels good. You want to feel good, right?
If gay men chose to ignore the idea that being fucked in the ass is the equivalent to plowing a woman, then they might be able to let themselves get drilled once in a while. I say this, because clearly this “it’s woman’s work” mentality is a big reason why some men aren’t taking the plunge. And a woman’s vagina isn’t a man’s asshole—they are two completely different things that should be enjoyed, not scrutinized.
And by plunge, I don’t mean go out and sit on a dick. It hurts a lot at first, and that’s normal. After all, you are sticking a blunt object in your rectum. But if you find a cool dude who is willing to take the time and care that’s required to make anal sex enjoyable for your first time, then allow yourself the opportunity. If you ignore what your brain is saying about why you aren’t supposed to enjoy it, and you still feel discomfort and physical pain after readying yourself, then you should definitely consult a doctor. But for everyone else who succumbs to the effects of bottom shaming? I feel sorry for you. You are no less a man for enjoying sex in all of its forms, and should really get over this idea that there are tops and there are bottoms, and no like terms should ever intersect. If you are a top seeking a bottom, or a bottom seeking a top, you’ve overlooked a pool of potential awesome fuck partners or boyfriends because of one minor detail. Opening your hole up means opening yourself up to meeting a really cool person.
You don’t have to nail or be nailed by every Tom, Dick and Harry, but it couldn’t hurt to be open to the idea. (And if you do, please use protection.)
Here are 10 men I would gladly let fuck me: