It Could Happen to You


I don’t kiss and tell unless I am forced to. My name is Kevin Naulls (I have put a photo for reference,  that is me today after I found out Arrested Development sucks now), and I once went on a date.

I am a writer. I didn’t have to follow up, accept a date or meet or stay on a date after I found out he wasn’t gay (and therefore harmless), but I chose to because this guy–we will call him Keith–was literally holding a gun to my head and Keith is the decider when it comes to burgeoning confessional journalism careers.

So I stayed and watched a band I like named Metric. But I didn’t enjoy myself because Keith wasn’t gay and therefore harmful. He mentioned his upcoming book several times,  like how gauche right? I hate when people are proud of what they do, especially when they aren’t gay and could be attracted to me.

Anyway he drove me home and tried to kiss me goodnight. Instead of avoiding a goodbye hug or kiss with someone I did not like because he was not gay and therefore harmless, I went in and he half kissed me.

Keith raped me.

And it could happen to you.

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